Understanding Your Child's Fear: When Should You Step In?

When you were a child, what was the one thing that kept you awake at night? Is it a monster under your bed, a shadow in the hallway, or the fear that something could be lurking in the dark? Well, whatever it may be, it is common, because many of us outgrow these childhood fears. But what happens to those who do not outgrow of these fears and it evolves into something more persistent like anxiety disorder or phobias.

Is there a way a parent can know when a child's fear is normal and when it is something more concerning? Here is a breakdown of common childhood fear and how it can help you:

Fear is normal and useful!

Fear is actually a natural part of growing up and it helps children develop survival instincts. It also helps them avoid situations which may be dangerous. For instance, a fear of strangers in early childhood can protect a child from harm, while fears of heights could also prevent risky behavior.

However, the problem arises when fears become overwhelming and could cause severe distress, avoidance, or interfering with daily life, they can then turn into phobias or anxiety disorders. If it is left untreated then these disorders can further persist into childhood and increase the risk of other mental health challenges.

What are the common fears at different ages?

Childhood fears evolve as kids grow, influenced by their developmental stage and experiences.

Infants & Toddlers (0-3 years): Loud noises, separation from parents, and strangers.

Preschoolers (3-5 years): Monsters, ghosts, the dark, and animals.

School-age children (6-12 years): Heights, storms, being alone, failure at school, and medical procedures.

Teenagers (13+ years): Social embarrassment, peer rejection, public speaking, and real-world threats like violence or climate disasters.

Most of these fears fade over time as children gain confidence and experience. However, when fear is excessive and long-lasting, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

When should you be concerned?

1. How often does the dread strike?

If a phobia is just transient, such as a preschooler's dread of monsters for a few weeks, there is often no reason to be concerned. However, if a youngster expresses the same fear every day for several months, it might be a red flag.

2. Intensity: how powerful is the reaction?

Is the dread causing severe anxiety, panic attacks, or physical symptoms such as nausea and dizziness? If this is the case, it might be a sign of anxiousness.

3. Duration: How long was it?

According to mental health recommendations, concerns that last longer than six months and interfere with a child's everyday life may necessitate professional intervention.

Is there a way parents can support their child?

There are certain ways you can support your child, first one being when you stop overprotecting. While it is natural to want to comfort your child especially if scared or frightened, however, constantly shielding your child from fear also reinforces avoidance.

You can also teach your child coping strategies and help them manage their fear through relaxation techniques like deep breathing, visualization, or positive self-talk. There are certain ways you can teach your child to say "I am safe in my own room" instead of saying "I am scared of the dark".

Moreover you can also encourage your child to talk about their fears without the fear of being judged. This can help them get the reassurance. Lastly, a little positive reinforcement can always help. This means to reward small steps toward overcoming fear. If your child is afraid of dogs, praise them for standing near one. Appreciate for every little step they take.

The Right Time To Seek Professional Help

Despite these efforts, if your child's fears are persistent and are also impacting their daily life, this is the time when you should consider consulting a mental health professional. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be highly effective in this.