Are You Struggling With Imposter Syndrome? Here's How You Can Deal With It

"Why am I here? I'm not welcome."

"Eventually, everyone will discover that I am a phoney." These are the thoughts I have frequented. Turns out that impostor syndrome (IS), that persistent sense of being undeserving or inadequate, happens to many women. It was originally believed that it only happens to highly successful and talented women, but the reality is, it can happen to anyone.

A 2019 assessment of the literature found that between 9% and 82% of persons had such ideas at some time throughout their lives.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

So, what exactly does imposter syndrome feel like? It’s the inner conflict between how you perceive yourself and how others see you. Regardless of how many comments or accolades you get, you always feel like you don't deserve them. Even if others acknowledge your achievements, you can't help but credit them to timing or pure chance rather than your own skills. You are always afraid that people will soon see you are not as good as they believe.

Individuals who deal with IS frequently put forth more effort to make up for their perceived lack of competence.

What happens next?

Your fear, self-doubt, and low self-esteem become overwhelming. It never seems like enough, no matter how hard you try to do more, accomplish more, and keep up the appearance of accomplishment.

And then, when you make even the smallest mistake, it reinforces the feeling that you are a fraud. This cycle of guilt and anxiety can feel unbreakable.

Are there any kinds and types of this syndrome?

Also to my surprise, as and when I was writing, I realised that there are actually five types of imposter syndrome. These are identified by Dr. Valerie Young, a leading expert on the subject. Each type represents a different way people internalize their perceived inadequacy.

The Perfectionist: This is where you frequently catch yourself obsessing over the little things and trying to do everything perfectly. You often feel like you have failed and chastise yourself for even the tiniest faults when things don't go as planned. You know perfection is not always the case, but you hold yourself accountable to it.

The Natural Genius: You anticipate that everything you attempt will be easy and that you are naturally gifted in some areas. You feel inadequate and ashamed when something doesn't come easily to you. And if you make mistakes, things turn haywire. You feel like an impostor when you struggle because you can't get rid of the idea that capable individuals should have no trouble at all.

The Soloist Rugged Individualist: This is when you frequently believe that you should be able to do everything by yourself. When you feel the need to seek help, you do not ask for it, because you fall short of your own high expectation. Seeking help to you makes you feel weak.

This is something that I have experienced. I have always envied my sister for being able to get everyone's support in things she does, while I feel like I attract extra responsibilities and that everyone is blind to my struggles. But the case is, I keep going on even when I am struggling. This is why help does not come to me, the reason is, that I do not ask for it. To me, it makes me feel weak.

The Expert: You frequently believe that you must fully understand a subject before you can call yourself an expert. While it is a great thing and value, this drive for information frequently causes you to put off doing assignments, and when you don't know everything, you feel inadequate and start doubting your skills.

The Superhero: Your capacity to flawlessly balance several responsibilities is what you consider success.

To me, I feel proud of doing this, and when I am unable to do so, I feel inadequate. My sense of impostor syndrome is further made worse by the pressure to push myself over my breaking point.

Why Does It Happen?

There are various factors that lead to imposter syndrome. It is typically caused by early experiences such as parental criticism, excessive comparisons, or pressure to do well. Personality traits that may have a role include a fear of failure and perfectionism. Even new experiences or responsibilities may trigger impostor syndrome, making me feel unworthy of the opportunities I've received.

In addition, social influences such as prejudice and discrimination may exacerbate these emotions. Imposter syndrome is more frequent among women, particularly women of colour, and members of under-represented groups, who may believe they must work more than others to overcome stereotypes and show their worth. Exclusion from venues and microaggressions may contribute to reinforce these views.

What Have I Learned?

Overcoming impostor syndrome requires self-compassion and an active approach to battling negative thoughts. Breaking the cycle is made easier by seeing these feelings for what they are: an illusion rather than a depiction of reality. By reminding myself of the facts, I can challenge my doubts and celebrate my accomplishments rather than focusing on my perceived shortcomings. Creating a network of support is also essential.

I can get comfort and reassurance by discussing my feelings with mentors, classmates, or trusted friends, making me feel less alone.

I've learnt that no one has everything figured out, and that success does not need perfection. I may embrace evolution over perfection by focussing on my own abilities and opportunities for improvement rather than comparing myself to others. Talking to a therapist can help me cope with any underlying anxiety or depression and manage the symptoms if they persist.

Finally, realising that I belong exactly where I am and that my achievement is not a coincidence is critical to overcoming imposter syndrome. It is the result of my diligence, expertise, and dedication.